Well, I'll Be Slammed!

Barbie and I attempted to get in touch with our technogeek sides last Wednesday night by attending the first ever (EVER? Yes, EVER!) Power Point Slam. What? You don't know what a power point slam is? Allow me to enlighten you in bulleted outline format:


The Power Point Slam is NOT:

• An inappropriate use of computer hardware that may result in personal injury, property damage, or electronic malfunction.
• An violent dance party that combines speed metal music with a computer-generated slide show.
• Your grandmother's--or your boss'--power point presentation.

The Power Point Slam IS:

• A new form of interactive, multi-media expression
• Held monthly and open to the public to attend or participate
• An evening of original entertainment that you cannot find anywhere else at a super low price that may or may not include a 40-ounce of your favorite beer.

Highlights of the first Power Point Slam, held at the Salvage Vanguard Theatre at 2803 Manor Rd., included Becky D'Orsogna's argument to "Measure the Way God Intended," using thebiblical unit of measurement, the cubit


Local Apple employee Tim Johnston presented a compelling series of statistical data to support his theory of "Less vs. More." One thing we learned for certain: Less is NEVER More! As you can see in this chart, "more consistently outperformed less, year after year."

And, in the spirit of all that is revolutionary, Miss Hayward, a local junior high history teacher, presented the alternative lesson plan that she would teach her students if she was able to have a stiff drink prior to each class, entitled "Fucking Shit Up." Miss Hayward made it known that if any of us tried to lay claims about her performance at the Power Point Slam that evening, she would "Admit nothing, deny everything, and offer plenty of counter-accusations."
From her slides we learned that some of the people and events that we had previously thought of as revolutionary, were perhaps not so much. Then again, things that we take for granted as being mundane have changed the world in big ways. For example, the automobile could be thought of as the "vehicle" (pun intended) that put the sexual revolution into motion, since it offered a new and more versatile place to get it on! (Think about it.)
Miss Hayward made her point in the time it took to polish off a fifth of Jim Beam, rather than the recommended 5-minute presentation time, but the point was made nonetheless! (She also openly declared her love for me in the parking lot afterward, but I'm sure if you ask her about it she will just admit nothing, deny everything, and make plenty of counter-accusations.)

Props to Donald Pitschel and Aaron Calhoun for organizing the rockin' shindig, and to Renee Woodward and Lance Sollock who provided charming musical interludes. Barbie and friends will be eagerly awaiting the next Power Point Slam. Stay tuned!

Zen and the Art of Road Rage Maintenance

For those of you who don't know, I got myself a new car recently. Not just a used, but "new to me" car, a BRAND NEW car! I didn't think I'd be able to afford a brand new car until middle age, but with months of extensive research and the car-buying wisdom of my uncle Duane, I am now the proud owner of a little black Hyundai.

Since I now have this spotlessly clean and shiny machine that is costing me a large chunk o' change, I figure I should be a little more careful on the road. I never thought of myself as a person with "road rage." I may curse frequently, and use the horn occasionally, but I'm not one of those people whose blood pressure skyrockets at the first sign of traffic congestion. I don't drive the same way on the road as I do when I'm playing video games, but a frightening number of people do! Still, I realized the moment I drove my new auto through town that I could stand to be a little more cautious. When I was driving the purple monster, nicknamed "MyGalant," I think I was secretly hoping someone would run into me, just so I could get the hunk o' junk off my hands. But now I am like a new mom, and I have to watch out for my little baby.

Last weekend, in a moment of hilarious irony, I was cruising along with a friend in the passenger seat and found myself going from cool, calm, and collected to crass, cranky, and combative in less than two seconds! Just as I was describing how quiet and peaceful I was feeling that day, the car adjacent to me attempted to speed up and cut me off, then slowed down to wait their turn, and then sped up again and I heard my self exclaim, "Make up your mind, you mother f_____!" Wow. That was all it took for me to go from serene to obscene?!

I thought it might help to keep something in my car to remind me to stay cool and not let the everyday perils of driving ruffle my feathers. Now, who or what embodies the principles of discipline, meditation, and harmony with nature...? YODA! I needed Yoda to be my co-pilot. So I found a handsome photo of the little guy online, printed him out on some shrinkable plastic that is designed for ink jet printers, shrunk the little bugger in the oven, and tied him to my rear view mirror with some glamorous silver ribbon. Now he is my tiny wing man, reminding me at every turn to use the force in maintaining a smooth and even driving attitude. Is it working? I think so. Every time I start to mutter an expletive to the guy in front of me who is taking FOR-EVER to notice the light has turned green, I hear this gruff little giggle, "Uh HEE hee hee hee hee" and I feel my brow un-wrinkling, my shoulders un-hunching, and the color returning to my knuckles as they un-clench from the steering wheel. :)

Maker Faire is Coming to Austin

Austin is going to be one of the lucky few cities in the country this year to host Make: magazine's Maker Faire! This is going to be a really cool event, and one that is definitely suited to Austin's pool of creative genius. If you aren't familiar with the Make: or Craft: magazines, click on the current issues below. They are quarterly publications and online zines that feature wild and crazy project ideas from all kinds of wild and crazy people.

I subscribe to Craft:, which is mostly for the traditional arts & crafts mediums that have been revamped to meet today's trendy hipster needs. Make: is more for the super-smart, inventor/MacGyver types. However, the step-by-step instructions and photos, called "instructables," are easy to understand and stress the theory that ANYONE can do them. They have featured a remarkable array of DIY projects, ranging from practical solutions for your average appliance malfunctions, to creating mass chaos with only a few household items. Some of the most popular projects they've featured are:

• A homeade cotton candy machine
• An ipod or flash-drive charger made from a breath mint tin (pictured)
• Techniques for getting mountains of change from jammed vending machines, pay phones, & video games
• WWII techniques for locking someone to a tree without restraints (very dangerous)
• A remote device that allows you to lock up someone's shopping cart wheels from across a store or parking lot

But your invention or idea doesn't have to be complicated or mischievous to be selected for the Maker Faire. A whole list of suggested topics is featured on their web site's call for entries. They prefer exhibits that are non-commercial, interactive, and focus on the process of making.

If you already have a project, invention, presentation or demonstration ready to go, you can audition in person this Sunday, July 15th at the Austin Children's Museum. Applications and proposals are not officially due until August 15th. The Austin Maker Faire will take place October 20th and 21st at the Travis County Fairgrounds. For more info and entry forms, click here:

And even if you don't have something to exhibit, you should still buy a ticket and attend. It's sure to be the kind of thing you don't get to see very often.